A 192 KILOMETERS................................. APART.

I JUST WASNT GETTING ANY DARNED STUFF THAT I COULD WRITE WITH MY HEART AND SOUL INTO .....
WELL THE LAST FIVE MINUTE JUST GAVE ME THE INSPIRATION OR RATHER REASON......AND GUYS PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I TRIP TOWARDS THE EMOTIONAL SCALE A LITTLE TOO MUCH.

I JUST HAVE TO WRITE THIS OUT TODAY.

MY EXAMS STARTED ON THE 28th OF NOVEMBER AND OUR EXAM GOT OVER TODAY THAT IS 16th OF DECEMBER.
MY-AS U KNOW STANDS FOR ME AND OUR-UL FIND OUT SOON.
THEY WERENT ALL THAT GREAT....MY EXAMS. BUT, OUR EXAMS WERE PATHETIC.
SO THE RESULT OF MY EXAM DOESNT WORRY ME SO MUCH AS THAT OF OUR EXAM.
I TOTALLY SCREWED UP WITH MY PREPARATIONS, BUT SAW TO IT THAT I COULD CONTRIBUTE AS MUCH AS I COULD TO OUR PREPARATION.
I HOPE I AM NOT ACCUSED OF BEING SELFISH.


THE BIGGEST VIRTUE THAT ANY HUMAN BEING CAN CONTRIBUTE TO THE LARGER SPHERE OF MANKIND IS 'kindness'.
DOESNT COST MUCH AT ALL, INFACT DOESNT COST ANYTHING AT ALL.
BUT THE BLESSINGS AND WISHES THAT U GET IN RETURN-priceless.

"WHEN U ARE IN LOVE; MORE THAN LOVE ITS RESPECT FOR THE OTHER PERSON THAT MATTERS THE MOST",
MY DEAR LOVE ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT, &
WHEN I AM TAUGHT SOMETHING I DEFINITELY LEARN IT....IVE ALWAYS BEEN AN OBEDIENT HUMAN BEING.

FOR ONCE I AM NOT BLOWING MY OWN TRUMPET-I NEED TO SAY THIS TO MYSELF. REASON: AT THIS VERY INSTANT OF TIME WHEN IVE NEVER FELT SO LOW , NEVER FELT MORE LET DOWN, NEVER FELT MORE DESERTED, NEVER FELT MORE HELPLESS... IVE COME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER.

THE TASTE OF BETRAYAL IS BITTER. DONT TRUST ME ATLEAST TRUST YOURSELF. IF UVE EVEN BEEN BETRAYED BY SOMEONE WHOM UVE LOVED THE MOST THEN THE PAIN INFLICTED IS FAR BEYOND HEALING. NO MATTER HOW MUCH U TRY NOTHING SOOTHES IT, CAUSE WHEN URE HURT DUE TO UNEXPECTED QUARTERS THE INJURY MAGNIFIES WITH THE UNEXPECTEDNESS, BETRAYAL AND U NOT BEING GUARDED.

ONE OF THE PRIMARY REASONS WHY MY BEAUTIFUL, CONSTANT AND MOST TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP FELL APART WAS BECAUSE OF another woman.
YUP THATS RIGHT SHE CAME, SHE SAW AND SHE DESTRUCTED......IN PERFECT SYNC WITH ALEXANDERS CONQUESTS.
AND YUP I AM NOT GONNA MENTION HER NAME.

NOTE:ONLY THOSE NAMES FIND MENTION IN MY POSTS WHOVE EXCELLED IN SOME ARENA.

WELL I PREFER CALLING HER 'the fallen one', REASON BEING THIS WOMAN (SHE IS ALL OF 21yrs) HAS EXCELLED AT BEING A JINX.
SHE HAS PERFECTED THE ART OF RUINING PERFECTLY GOOD RELATIONSHIPS(considering she couldnt even save her own relationship with a guy who dearly loves her), WHEN THEY ARE GOING THRU A LEAN PATCH.

ANOTHER CHARACTERISTIC OF HER: A FAST GIRL. THATS WHAT GIVES HER THE FALLEN ONE TAG.
SHE ACTS FRESH WITH GUYS WHO SOUND GOOD OVER THE FONE AND WHOM SHE HAS NEVER MET..(SHE DID THAT TO MY GUY, SO IMAGINE THE LEVEL TO WHICH THIS GIRL FALLS , JUST SO THAT SHE GETS MEN !!!!)
DOESNT HAVE MANY FRIENDS OF HER OWN.SHE IS IN LAW SCHOOL (4th yr) YET HAS NO LAW FRIENDS. INSTEAD SHE HANGS OUT WITH 3rd YEAR ENGINEERING STUDENTS.......LAME LOSER! WHATEVER.

JUST BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND TRIED TO BE VERY FRIENDLY WITH HER, WHICH HE IS WITH ANY SOUL SHE SAID THAT SHE HAD GOT CAUGHT UP BETWEEN HIM AND THE GUY SHE WAS INVOLVED WITH FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS....CONFUSED BABE.
IF U ARENT SURE OF THE PERSON THEN HOW CAN U EVER BE SURE OF YPUR FEELINGS?
HANG ON... THIS FEMALE SUCKS BIG TIME IN FEELINGS (HER PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP FAILED MAY I REMIND U).
THE REASON WHY ME AND MY GUY BROKE UP WAS BECAUSE 'the fallen one', TOLD ME THAT SHE AND MY GUY WERE SEEING EACH OTHER AND THAT I SHOULD BE MOVING ON AS MY GUY WAS OVER WITH ME!
ALL I COULD DO WAS....NOTHING.
I WAS 192km AWAY & COULDNT WALK UP TO MY GUY, SEE HIM IN HIS EYES AND ASK HIM STRAIGHT.
I HAD NEVER TRUSTED ANYONE BEFORE AS MUCH AS I TRUSTED MY GUY.
THAT DAY I FELT A LUMP IN MY THROAT WHICH HAS LASTED TILL DAY. THE MAN WHOM I TRUSTED AND RELATD IN EVERY POSSIOBLE MANNER WAS SLOWLY BEING CONTROLLED BY A DOMINATRIX (SHE).
THIS VERY SAME MAN DEGRADED ME TO THE RANKS OF ANIMALS AND MANIACS IN LIEU OF DEFENDING HER.
WOW!
HOW ABSOLUTELY UNEXPECTED.
IT HURT LIKE NEVER BEFORE. BUT I HAD BEEN EXPOSED TO SUCH DIRE STRAITS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA THAT I FELT NOTHING-WHICH IS DANGEROUS.

MY INTEGRITY, MORALS, CHARACTER EVERYTHING WAS FED THE MAXIMUM LETHAL DOSE. IM SURE LIFE CAN NEVER GET MORE HARSH. THE WORST PART BEING I WAS PUT IN AN OPEN FIELD WITH PEOPLE ( INCLUDING THE ONES THAT I LOVED AND TRUSTED THE MOST) HURLING THE CURSES OF LIFE.

I WAS LEFT THERE TO FEND ALL FOR MYSELF.MY SELF RESPECT RAPED BRUTALLY.
MY CONSCIENCE IN DEEP COMA, MY HEART IN PIECES AND MY MIND ...MOLESTED.

THATS WHEN CAME A GODSENT ANGEL.......TRULY BELIEVE IN THE ALMIGHTY.......REHAB.
SHE WAS THE ONE PERSON WHO RESCUED ME FROM ALL THE ANGUISH AND MISERY.
SHE WAS THE ONE WHO MADE ME REALIZE THAT I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE AT FAULT. SHE WAS THE ONE WHO MADE ME BELIEVE IN MYSELF AGAIN.
SHE ACTUALLY IS MY SAVIOR.

AFTER BEING HELPED WITH REGAINING MY PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL SELF I SET MY FOOT AGAIN TOWARD THE PATH CALLED ...TRUST AND BELIEF.
MY GUY AND I WERE FINALLY TALKING IN A CIVILIZED MANNER (aftetr a really long time).
I FOR ONCE RESOLVD THAT I WASNT GOING TO GIVE HIM A REASON TO COMPLAIN, AGAIN.
AFETR MY EXAMS FINISHED, THAT DAY ONWARDS I SAT WITH HIM EVERY NIGHT SO THAT HE WOULDNT FEEL ISOLATED AND COULD CONCENTRATE BETTER WHICH WOULD ENABLE HIM TO WRITE HIS PAPER. SO THAT OUR(HIS) EXAM WOULD BE GOOD. I WOKE UP ALL NIGHT JUST TO SEE TO IT THAT I COULD PROVIDE HIM WITH ALL THE SUPPORT SOMEONE COULD PROVIDE TO SOMEONE UTTERLY STRESSED OUT.
THE THANK YOUS THAT I RECIEVED WERE PRETTY UNNECESSARY.....AFTERALL OUR EXAMS SHOULD PASS WELL THATS WHAT MATTERS THE MOST.
FINALLY, EXAMS DEAR DID GET OVER......
I HAD GONE WITH MY FRIENDS TO WATCH THE LAMEST MOVIE THAT EVER EXISTED IN MOVIE TIME.
ALL THRU THE MOVIE I PRAYED FOR HIS PAPER TO GO WELL.............................
FINISHED MY OTHER CHORES AND THEN CAME BACK HOME LATE INTO THE NIGHT.
I HOPED I COULD GET THRU TO HIM AND ASK HIM HOW HIS PAPER WAS..
SO I CALLED HIM UP, THE FONE WAS REJECTED , TRIED CALLING HIM BY THE HOUR YET WAS REJECTED.
FINALLY I GOT THRU TO HIM AT 1:O'CLOCK IN THE NIGHT, AND TO MY UTTER DISMAYAL FOUND THAT WOMAN WITH HIM...OFCOURSE OTHER FRIENDS WERE THERE TOO.
I WAS DEEPLY HURT....
WHEN THE TIMES OF CRISIS WERE THERE I WAS BESIDES HIM, HOWEVER DURING GOOD TIMES SHE TOOK ALL THE FUN.
CERTAINLY NOT FAIR.
THAT NIGHT I REALISED HOW SOME WOMAN JUST WANT TO HAVE ALL THE FUN AT THE COST OF SOMEONE ELSES HAPPINESS.
I DINT HAVE LUCK ON MY SIDE, I DINT HAVE TIME ON MY SIDE AND I DINT HAVE THE DISTANCE ON MY SIDE TOO.
IMAGINE MY SHOCK WHEN I WOULD FIND OUT THAT SHE WOULD DROP INTO MY BOYFRIENDS HOUSE AT ODD HOURS..FOR REASONS LIKE KEEPING ANIMALS UNDER HIS CUSTODY (as if he was a vet), FOR ASKING HIM HOW HIS EXAMS WERE, FOR GIVING HIM HER HOUSE KEYS, FOR GETTING HER WORK DONE IN HIS COMPUTER, BY HIM, AND STORING ALL OF IT IN HIS COMPUTER INSPITE OF HAVING A LAPTOP IN HER FLAT(which belongs to her ex-boyfriend with whom she lives).
WELL I DONT GIVE SUCH WOMAN RESPECT THAT EVEN ORDINARY WOMAN SHOULD BE ENTITLED TO .
TO TOP IT ALL I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT WASNT FORMAL ACCORDING TO THE LAW..SO I GUESS THAT DINT GIVE ME THE RIGHT TO VOICE MY INSECURITES CAUSE THAT IS WHAT WAS MY FEELING SINCE SHE ENTERD MY SPHERE.
AND THE FACT THAT A RELATIONSHIP DINT HAVE A FORMAL SEAL TO IT GIVES MEN THE RIGHT TO THROW OUT THE GIRLFRIENDS...OUT OF THEIR LIVES WHENEVER THEY WANT, WHICH HAPPENS ONCE THEY ARE BORED.
AND THAT IS WHEN I REALISED THAT DISTANCE CAN INDEED CREATE A LOT OF HAVOC IN RELATIONSHIPS, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE LOOSE WOMAN ON THE SPREE.
THE 192 km PROVED TO BE DISTANCE OF A LIFETIME....................ENOUGH TO DESTROY EVRYTHING.